RadiantBeth

countdown to nyc

2008-06-29T20:58:00.003-04:00

six days until it's off to the big apple! ok, so maybe we'll only be there one night, but we've been looking forward to it for AGES! spending time with trev's family, staying at the w times square, going to a yankees v redsox game, and who knows what else!? have i told you i've only been to nyc once? well, not counting driving through or passing through the airport. some friends and i drove down from bennington to a leondardo da vinci exhibit at the world financial center. literally drove down, went to the exhibit, had lunch at a deli up the street and then drove back. well, stopped at one of their parents' houses in rhinebeck for dinner before driving the rest of the way. i've decided not to have any expectations since it's such a short trip and i want it to be about spending time with trev's family and not about what i want to do. that'll have to wait for another time. ;)

zero g

2008-06-25T20:08:00.003-04:00

i know what i want for my birthday and i know it will never happen. well, not this year anyway. http://www.gozerog.com/index.htm trevor doesn't understand it and probably wouldn't even do it if was free. well, maybe if it was free, but definitely not for the four grand that it costs now for one seat. but if i were a millionaire, what would 4 grand be?! i think all my millionaire friends should think about this birthday wish come september. just 25 days after my birthday, i could be on a flight at kennedy space center. oh yeah, i'm so there.

2007-09-19T18:39:00.000-04:00

it's been forever since i posted and i'm not even sure when the next time will be. i'm trying to think of another way to use this site without just keeping up old thoughts and wasting space. i just saw a peta ad that made me cry and i'm trying to look around the seattle's best coffee cafe in this, my favorite borders, before i decide it's time for trev and i to head home for dinner and a night of studying and watching tv. went on a retreat a couple of weeks ago and it helped me reset before this hectic semester. i felt behind because of it, but this week i'm on top of things (at least for now) and feel good. in general, there's happiness and not from any external factors, but that inner peace and happiness that is so amazing to hold. i hope that everyone can find this happiness and be free of their suffering. if you're reading this, i do mean you.

just sick

2007-07-25T18:35:00.000-04:00

The visit from the mama and bro went well! Unfortunately, I got sick Tuesday night after eating focaccia I had bought at Panera and saved for dinner. During the actual consumption, I felt the throat go sore. :( Went to work Wed with the sore throat, stayed out on Thursday after dealing with aches and shakes and all that fun stuff. A week later, am still dealing with a runny nose and cough. Ugh! Alas, I did get my assignments done and actually got a perfect score on the one assignment for my dl. :) Now, I'm facing my final projects for both classes that are due in just over a week for one. Fun! It's hard when I'd rather be reading HP7!! Not sure my point in writing... *shrug*

a high school DL?

2007-07-16T19:19:00.000-04:00

I'm sitting in a booth with the sun hitting me through the window of my new second home... Panera Bread. I feel like I live here. Free WiFi and good food, but most importantly, free refills on coffee! The future mother-in-law and brother-in-law are in town on Thursday and with two "big" assignments due Friday, I'm trying to get as much done as I can. Unfortunately, my digital library class is not being my friend right now as I contemplate the "biggest problem" I'm facing in writing my DL plan and trying to find literature to back me up or help me with it, as well as my solution. I guess my biggest problem I'm facing is how much freedom to give the students. I'm not even thinking about how the DL, if it were ever created, would be hosted as the district now only wants schools and teachers to only use their (the district's) website hosting and not link to outside (personal) sites. It seems that the district is leery of giving students freedom to post, etc, which really is what my biggest problem is. I can cut it out of the DL, but what is being lost? The true communicative nature of the internet. If it's a DL to help foster a sense of community within the school, then wouldn't something be lacking by doing that? Maybe my brain just doesn't want to function right now. I was so exhausted all day today that I got home and ended up taking a 2 1/2 hour nap - NOT what I had intended. Hopefully I'm able to tackle this and my usability testing and research for the information architecture class. We'll see...

so many books and nothing to read

2007-06-17T23:06:00.000-04:00

I finished reading Jonathan Carroll's Sleeping in Flames this afternoon and now I'm about to drive myself nuts because all I want to do is read, but I don't have anything here that will fulfill the yearning... We have several books I haven't read, but I just can't bring myself to be inspired to read them. How can you read just anything after finishing a Jonathan Carroll book and then (oh yes, I forgot to mention) the first five issues of Clive Barker's graphic novel of The Strange and Secret Show? A colleague went to Heroes Con this weekend and purchased the sixth one (only one we're missing), so now I must wait until I get it from her before I can continue reading that. I was half thinking of re-reading a Barker novel... but no, I want another Carroll book! I ordered White Apples today as PLCMC doesn't have it and I don't want to go through the trouble of an ILL. I started reading the only Christopher Moore book I have yet to read tonight - we went to Borders and I read the first few chapters of Practical Demonkeeping. His first and yet, I can't believe I haven't read it yet. I've read all the others... If only my favorite authors would produce a new book on demand, just to satisfy my cravings! I guess then, though, I'd never discover anyone new... Alas... At least I have my boys (you know, Widespread Panic) serenading me from Bonnaroo right now! Ahh... heaven. Well, if somehow I could combine their music with a great read, then I'd be all set. Wouldn't that be cool? Hmm... a soundtrack made specifically for a book? I'd still be picky, though... couldn't be just any book. How can I be a librarian and be so picky in what I read?! Guess I just follow my yearnings and can't just pick any ol' book up at any ol' time. (PS I'm also in need of a good audiobook... I have two Audible credits, but can't decide what to get. Again, I'm in that picky state where nothing might be able to satisfy it!)

consequences of emotions raised during reading

2007-06-02T20:08:00.000-04:00

here's a post i wrote in the blog i have going with my students about what we read: Thursday, May 31, 2007 Twilight by Stephenie Meyer I seriously do not know what to do with myself. I just finished Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. Literally just finished it maybe two minutes ago. Well, add another minute to find out that there's not a copy of the sequel available for immediate check out from the public library. I think I'm going to go crazy, even having to wait one day to get to a bookstore and purchase it. I decided this afternoon that I was "desperately addicted" to this novel. I can't explain it, but I want more. I feel like Bella in the book, yearning for Edward and to be with him forever. I feel like Edward seduced by Bella's scent and knowing it'd be better if he stayed away from her, but feeling so irresistibly attracted. I can't even read what the third book is about (to be released in August) because I'm afraid it'll ruin the second book for me! Is this crazy? I love it when I find a book that hooks me so thoroughly. Is it weird that I left high school ten years ago and here I am lulled into the life of a high schooler, feeling as if I was a part of her soul, her being, and feeling everything she does?! Maybe it's working in a high school that keeps me in that frame of mind. Either way, I'm glad I can enjoy teen fiction! I'm glad I'm a teen librarian! Twilight is the story of two star-crossed lovers, Bella and Edward. Why are they star-crossed? Meet Bella, a human. Meet Edward, a vampire! This, the first novel, is their introduction and subsequent falling in love. I was worried in the beginning, knowing that Edward was a vampire (from reading reviews) and wondering how hokey the book was going to be. I thought I'd be able to figure out what was going to happen and how cliche and predictable it would be. Even when I was feeling skeptical, I still felt spellbound and couldn't pull myself away. Every minute away from the Stephenie Meyer's words felt like torture! Fortunately, it didn't take long to become completely addicted, reading as fast as I could to find out what was going to happen on the next page! So do I download the audiobook to my iPod so I can listen to it on the way to school in the morning? On the road this weekend as we head out of town to visit friends? Or do I drop by the bookstore after school tomorrow so I can read it (at the possible detriment of the classes I'm taking!) and savor each word, yearning for more along the way? __________ Before I go on, I did have a thought about why I feel this way from reading a book about high schoolers. I've never really left "school"... any TYPE of school! High school to college to grad school to working in a high school! It's weird sometimes when I read books about ADULTS (which is more than this statement might let on!) and I'm not familiar with the office experience or the dating world, etc (perhaps my not experiencing dating outside of school environment?), and well, "regular, adult LIFE." I've also just started school again myself and well... will I ever escape? So going back, after I wrote the post I pasted above, Trevor and I literally hopped in the car and ran down the street to Borders before they closed and purchased New Moon! Amazing... why didn't I think of doing that before? I could have finished more than just a chapter! hah! I only let 30 or so minutes pass since finishing the book and heading to the store. That was Thurs night, started the book that night, read a chapter or two at work the next day (waiting for the bell to ring to start the morning; occupying myself while the computer loaded; two minute breaks to "refresh" myself in the midst of inventory mania...), and then again when we got here to our friends' house in Raleigh last night, finishing the book about 6 this evening! Here's what I wrote: Saturday, June 02, 2007 7:56 PM We're in Raleigh and have been here since last night at about 7:45. I was tired and couldn't wait to get back to reading my book, New Moon. Though they had guests over (a nice gathering consisting of a jam session and good ol' socializing with friends), I sat in the living room and later lied across my "borrowed" bed and read the entire evening until I finally couldn't keep my eyes open after 1am (or later?). I just finished the book this afternoon just before 6 and I still feel like I'm in this "daze" and am slowly trying to come out of it. I thought it'd be easier than this, but I still feel like the book is more "real" than my real life. It's confusing. The only thing I can think of is that the book filled me with so many strong emotions and I feel like I'm lacking those emotions in my day-to-day life. After I just wrote that and paused for not five seconds, I realized that in my Buddhist studies, I should be studying Dharma and meditation and spending my time contemplating it. I think that might ground me again to this life and help me remember that it's my future lives I need to be worried about. It just feels so ODD! I still feel full of the love that Bella feels for Edward, the vampire, and for his family. I long for those feelings, I suppose. Do they even exist in "real life?" I don't know what's real and what's not anymore. I wonder at those who have such strong emotions on a daily basis and if they're true, sincere, or even pure. Are they worth having? Is the hunt for these strong emotions what causes so much suffering in the world? It seemed so much easier when I was enveloped in my daily practice, aiming towards non-attachment (wait! All these emotions are is ATTACHMENT!). Maybe if I sit here and try to contemplate the suffering that attachment causes, I can come back from this la-la land of fiction. Like Bella not knowing if she can survive without Edward, can I survive without the third book of Bella's story until it comes out in August? The answer seems an obvious "of course!" but in this half-numb state, I'm not really sure. I might delve into a state similar to Bella's numbness after Edward left her. Silly, huh? Maybe being here in Raleigh makes me think about my life from a different perspective? For one, I feel like I have no friends at home (it's not straight-out true, but a few moments ago, I started to remember the night-long conversations I would have with friends about "deep" topics, or so I thought at the time...). We're here with friends, but I still don't feel like I can sustain a full-length conversation with them on my own. I don't want the simple chit-chat anymore. I'm not as passionate about the music as I use to be or the hippie clothes or whatever. I yearn for substance and perhaps that's why I escape to books so much (do I not want to CREATE substance?). It's ok going day-to-day at work and conversing and feeling happy. Outside of work, Trevor and I keep ourselves fairly occupied (and happy) and it isn't until emotions I didn't know I longed for show up in a book I'm reading that I realize what I'm missing. Back to the previous paragraph - they're not worth yearning for and will only cause suffering! Must meditate… I wish I'd brought Joyful Path… ____________ I'm sure I'll snap out of this. If not tonight, then Monday when the routine begins again. I don't ask these questions at home, I don't think! At least not to this extent... or maybe I don't put them into words. My inner dialogue is usually emotions and not words, per se. After reading certain books, though, I find the dialogue and it always seems to be a reflection of the narration of the book I've most recently read. Sleeping in Flames (Jonathan Carroll) is waiting for me at the public library. Interesting to see what THAT brings!

bad habits

2007-05-21T22:30:00.000-04:00

i feel like i'm starting some bad habits and though it's almost summer break and you can "break the rules" in the summer, i just started one of my classes today and instead of trying to "get ahead" by getting the assignments for this week done right away, i was back on Second Life for the second night in a row, staying up late. i created a new account and am going through the basics, paying more attention than i did the first time around. checked out the official guide from the library and read through the first several chapters on the road trip to and from the family reunion yesterday. trevor had a good birthday, so he says and as i hope. celebrated fri night with our neighbor friends. otherwise, just been anxious to get going in my classes, though you couldn't tell tonight! counting down until the last day of school and when we can get away up north, at least for a few days. it'll be a busy summer, but one i'm very much looking forward to!

nostalgia

2007-05-17T21:34:00.000-04:00

I don't know what hit me today (well, nostalgia, but I have no idea why) and so I found an old address book from high school > first semester of college and started googling people. Amazing! One is a theatre director in Seattle, another going towards her MBA, one in a band with her husband, and the list goes on. My old roommate has her own dance company in Canada with another woman. I'm in awe of these outstanding people! I emailed just a couple of them... the ones I had an actual connection with at some point instead of the ones "hey, I knew you then and yeah, we were friendly, but we really weren't *that* close, I guess, but hey, how are you?!" In a way, I feel like some of these people have come so far in life and made a name for themselves while I feel like I haven't and am the same ol' me. Of course, then I really think about who I was then and know that that's not true. I'm sure they probably feel the same way, too. Or, perhaps, they had aspiration and knew that's where they'd end up or where they'd want to end up. It humanizes everyone, if you think about it...

Shrek the Third

2007-05-16T21:37:00.000-04:00

Can't forget to say that we enjoyed Shrek the Third last night! So awesome to have won tix through WBTV - woohooo! They've definitely sent us to many, MANY free movies and we thank them!! So yes, I know Shrek is huge and it will have no lack of fans going to see it, but here's my shout out to it... VERY cute and funny! W00t!

new toys and goodbyes

2007-05-16T21:26:00.000-04:00

I've dreamt of this for quite a long time now. I'm sitting in the living room typing... surfing... going to websites I haven't gone to in ages as I haven't had the motivation to stay on my desktop in the other (hot) room for longer than absolutely necessary. It's nice in there when Trev's playing WOW at the same time, but there's just something about it... I wish to limit that time as much as possible. So yes, a laptop. I've dreamt of one for the longest time and finally. It's only here as I start more grad classes in only a few days and who knows, within a year, I hope to have a completely different career. Well, not so completely different. Still a librarian in some capacity or other, even if not explicitly stated in the job title. It's exciting. So goodbyes... after 7 years of Gilmore Girls, I just had my goodbye. Sure, it aired last night, but we were just able to watch it tonight. Oh, the tears, and perhaps I "should" be embarrassed, but never. Good friends are gone, but it'll be fun spotting them in other works. Still... *sigh* Oh, I forgot to mention my new mouse - the Logitech VX Revolution. Though I've only been using it for a couple of hours now, I absolutely love it! Tomorrow, my text books should arrive, but also my new case!! I was daydreaming today about going to my conferences next year with my laptop (as it's a common sight to see people blogging during the sessions and I've always thought that for someone who loves tech, I uh... am technologically lacking in that regard). Then, I pictured myself with the new case and realized that I might, in fact, stick out like a sore thumb! Black cases, everywhere you go! I just wanted a RED case, can't help it. Seems like a theme in my life - can't fit in; it's not in my blood. Wanna see what it looks like? Check it out here! Time for Idol. Didn't start live - had to get that Gilmore Girls in! If only tomorrow wasn't another early morning as House is still left to go. :)

"Do people think we're stupid?!"

2007-03-18T19:07:00.000-04:00

Perhaps the question should be, "Why do those who provide services (for lack of a better term) think that their clients/customers are stupid?!" Trev and I went to Mama Fu's today for lunch. After eating half of his delicious meal, Trevor noticed that right there on the side of his plate was a dried-on noodle from the last partaker of their Mama Fu's meal. He was immediately disgusted and took his plate up to the owner and after showing her, was told that it was PAINT! From the plate, not the wall, but still! He came back to the table furious and perhaps the owner saw him, because she came over and asked if she could make another meal for him. I was just thankful she did that as I was in the middle of telling him that they guarantee satisfaction and will make something else for you if you don't like your food. Why wouldn't they do that if you weren't satisfied with the cleanliness of your plate?! Trevor then asked the question, "Why do they think customers are stupid?!" and brought up our experience, six years ago, when we took Keira and Raef for their first-ever vet appointment. We were taken to a consultation room to wait on the vet/vet tech. On the table was a WORM. Yes, a little white worm that came from their previous client and showed that obviously, the observation table had not been properly cleaned. We were disgusted and showed it to the vet and tech when they soon came in. The vet had the GALL to scratch at it with her nail and say that no, in fact it was sticky goo from the bottom of a pet carrier!!! We had seen it MOVE!! It was ALIVE!! Well, it was until the vet killed it and smeared it's little white guts on the table. I know now what I should have done. I should have put the kitties back in their carrier (fortunately, they were still on the floor and not on the table yet) and walked out. I should have raised kane. No, we were passive, so completely and utterly shocked that we couldn't think straight. So here... it was the Raleigh Cat Clinic and maybe now, I can get it out of my system and stop being so upset when I think back at that vet who obviously thought we were too stupid to know better. *big sigh* Unbelievable... Fortunately, we were smart enough to NOT go back. If only I knew the vet's name...

It's Official!

2007-02-14T18:41:00.000-05:00

My application is now submitted to SU for another stint at graduate school. This time, a certificate of advanced study in digital libraries. Here's to hoping they want me back. :)

catch and release

2007-01-25T22:19:00.000-05:00

so it's stupid to say that a lot has happened since i last posted and here i am hopping onto blogger just to say that i loved catch and release. got home a few minutes ago (well, now minus (or would it be plus?) the time it took to relieve myself of the large soda i drank during the movie and tell trevor about it) and i have to say that 1) i love winning free movie tickets and what a great summer it was (two summers ago) to win them every week and 2) i miss going to movies! oh yeah, and everyone should go see catch and release. why? just 'cuz. (because i said so? naaah.) so, quick update before i have to hit the hay: red hot chili peppers sucked. well, that's what trevor said and he's the one to know. lmao still catering to the teen crowd just like they were 15 years ago when trevor saw them as a teen. i admit, i liked them in middle school, but seriously, was i just being a poser? (like when i wore my converse all stars to school and got called a poser? naaah, i really did just like 'em and wore them because i, well, liked 'em. as for the music... the jury's still out.) anyway, after the supposed music that gnarls barkley performed (sound was HORRIBLE 3000 feet above the stage) i decided to be open minded. cool lights. cool stage ummm background thingy. however, i couldn't help but notice trevor looking miserable and so we left. reason? what i said above about still catering to the young'uns and they were definitely out in numbers swooning over anthony just like i probably did when i was their age. so many young kids. so many screamers when we were trying to listen to the guitar "solos." oh wait, anthony was dancing at the time which in this universe, ONLY means that you're supposed to scream at the top of your lungs. oh well. trevor spared himself the inevitable disappointment that would have come each time he played their music in the future. now he can still enjoy the songs he loves and enjoys and i was able to drive home the 3 hours without falling asleep. it was a close call, though, as another mile and we might have been off the side of the road. there's the update. guess there's a bunch missing, but that'll have to come later, if at all. alas... how interesting can my life be? ;) if only you knew...

all-nighter

2006-12-30T19:23:00.000-05:00

it's 7:23 and i've been awake for almost two and a half hours. wow! yesterday afternoon, trev got the hot idea to leave at midnight instead of waiting until early this morning to hit the road for the almost 12 hour trek back home. well, we left at 9:30 (knowing that we wouldn't be worth anything if we waited until the clock struck 12) and arrived back home at about 9:30 this morning. i have no idea how we made it as we've attempted this feat before, but never quite made it the entire way. fortunately, we saved $ on a hotel room (which was good, as we spent more than anticipated on the hotel going up) and we didn't die, crash or endure some other major calamity caused by the half-asleep drivers - either trevor or myself, depending on when you caught us. i guess trevor drove about 3 hours, all told. this morning at about 7:30 was the worst. finally made it over the nc state line and stopped at the rest stop. closed our eyes for about 20 minutes and i was good for the rest of the way, especially as the sun being out was a major plus in that endeavor. we're home, we're happy and we're ready for the ortiz vs lidell fight tonight and i must admit, it might be the first fight i stay awake for the entirity of. we're almost unpacked, which is something, as last time we went to raleigh, it took us a couple of weeks to completely unpack. raef and keira are happy to have us back and raef was my eye pillow during the sleep today. so sweet. :) otherwise, i'm going to enjoy the next two days before i have to return to work. unfortunately, i have a huge pile of work to grade before returning - my attention had been spent on preparing for the audit (we passed!) the last day of school before break. alas... at least the school year has been flying by and next thing i know, it'll be spring break!

holiday reflections

2006-12-28T20:21:00.000-05:00

one day left in our visit to central ny and i'm mourning the imminent return to school on tuesday. first comes the drive, though, but fortunately, tomorrow will be spent in ithaca and i'm excited. trevor got a gift card to the ithaca bakery and it's been a year since we've visited the commons. oh yes, one of our favorite places. it's been fun spending time with trevor's family and today i got to reunite with a friend and former classmate from syracuse university and then a former coworker. so great to see them! christmas day we drove to my aunt and uncle's house and then almost immediately after lunch, we hit the road for ny. unfortunately, we stopped after a few hours as it was dark and rainy. wanted to stop in harrisburg, pa, but no way we could have made it that far. the best western we stayed at had us go through three dirty rooms before we got a clean one. they had let their cleaning staff have the day off, but the receptionist was new and well... we *finally* got a clean room. only place open for food other than a gas station was the waffle house and that was an hour and a half ordeal just to get our food. of course, took 45 minutes to even place an order and then after waiting half an hour and returning from the car where trev and the chai lilly waited, the guy finally called out our order. with a close call of potentially not having any plastic ware with which to eat our food, someone finally found some in the back and we returned to the hotel in order to eat, watch tv and hit the sack. for the second night in a row, i felt like i had forgotten how to sleep after waking up at 2am. i convinced myself that i no longer knew how to sleep. fortunately, sleep finally found me. otherwise, nothing so interesting going on, but times spent with family are priceless. :)

another chew toy for the little one

2006-12-16T07:28:00.000-05:00

i've had my glasses for over a month and for that, i'm devastated. under a month, i could walk back in with my receipt and my glasses and return them. now, i'm stuck for at least a year with my now chewed up frames. it's not as bad as that, i guess. it's just the piece that goes over the ear. same as my last glasses, but then i was calm about it. i didn't get upset. this time, even after trying to train my mind and not become upset over things i can't control, i'm still upset. i haven't tried to sit and meditate on it yet or think through it, but truly, i just blame myself and sweet chai lilly who has her paws on my lap right now wanting to hop up is innocent. she must have walked across my pillow and then onto the nightstand and eventually, through the course of the night, taken everything of mine off the nightstand and tested its chewability. this is the first and only night that i did not put my glasses in the new white glasses case when i went to bed. the thought crossed my mind and then, of course, i was exhausted and told myself they'd be fine. i think i knew in the back of my head. we're visiting our friends in raleigh again and by the time we got up here, i was exhausted and ready for bed, though i think i hung on for at least a half an hour. didn't see melanie get home from work, though, as i was soundly asleep in a whole 'nother world of dreams. when i found my glasses, i wanted to call my mom and cry to her. i wanted her to tell me it's ok, even though i know it. i wanted to revert back to a little girl whose mommy will take care of everything. can't someone buy me another new pair of frames? right? i'm not that kid and far from it, though this feels like the first time in a while that i've felt that way. i've been so ... strong. so peaceful and centered that i could handle any inconvenience. if i can't control it, there's no reason to get upset over it. the law of karma, and all that. i have been a little more negative lately, though i work through it and try not to let it get out of hand and have really been having good days lately. maybe i should have stayed in charlotte to go to the meditation workshop today at the center. four sessions, i believe, of meditation. might have done me more good.

with the lisa

2006-12-02T22:32:00.000-05:00

i'm sitting here with my wonderful friend and neighbor, lisa. i just showed her my blog and she's wondering about putting your personal journal or diary online for anyone to read it. truthfully, i don't tell you guys, my uh... readers... (as if you, the reader, really exists) all of the ooey gooey personal details. but still. i guess i do like to write and as i really don't have much else to write about... i have no idea where this post is going. we've been playing $100,000 pyramid for most of the night and laughing so incredibly much that both lisa and i had to get up at one point to go to the bathroom so we didn't let loose during the game laughing so hard! ("soooo true," sayeth lisa. guess i don't lie!) the guys wanted to play hockey, but we tested them - turn off the dvd and play your game. we'll just play until you get the nerve up to interrupt our game. unfortunately, right before the final winner's circle, they did. however, it was fun before that - after the formal, official, game play of teams had ceased. we celebrated thanksgiving tonight. guess the mama hadn't had a chance to cook thanksgiving this year, so tonight was it. now i've celebrated thanksgiving three times. woohooo for me. ;) (dale just said, "are they doing a personality test for lisa?" and "does it say she's mean to her boyfriend?" trevor says, "what about me, beth?" dale says, "what happens if you fail the test?" yes, we did do personality tests before this. i feel like a little giggly girl. too fun!) silly, silly boys. maybe we'll gossip about them now and revert to high school. waaaay too much fun.

goings on

2006-12-02T01:04:00.000-05:00

got home a while ago from a yearbook advisors holiday dinner at the speedway club at lowe's motor speedway. my first time there and most likely my last. well, i take that back as the woman throwing the dinner said it might become an annual shindig. trevor's a little nervous when it comes to going into situations like that and it actually turned out really awesome! my co-advisor was there, of course, with her boyfriend and he and trev both play (or should i say "live"?) WoW. they had a ton to talk about and we were joined by a couple who also had a ton in common. turned out really awesome and we had a wonderful dinner and good conversation. :) went to ncetc, north carolina educational technology conference (did i get that right?), this week wed-thurs. i think i'll post more about it tomorrow when i'm not so tired. had a fairly decent time, though i didn't come back as gung-ho as i have in the past from this conference and ncaect. i did get a nice list from patrick crispen of websites that are a complete and total waste of time. they're fun. good info from two of his other sessions i also went to, as well as some things to think about from david warlick and his web2.0 and video games in education sessions. i also enjoy hearing him speak. it's funny... when some people speak over a mic in an auditorium, they sound 'out of place' or ... fake ... hmmm, rethinking that, perhaps they sound too "real" and so there's nothing to really capture you by listening to their voices. warlick, on the other hand, has the kind of voice that demands respect and attention. you want to hear everything he has to say on anything and everything. so here's a late night toast to new friends and the hope that maybe, just maybe, we'll get out of the house more often and actually have some new folks to hang out with. another toast to new ways of thinking about education, as well as a terrific first yearbook for my school.

8/10 - 9/23

2006-10-21T15:38:00.000-04:00

I'm heading back to blogger from my 1and1 blog (using wordpress) and so here's what I posted during that brief excursion from blogger... getting old September 23, 2006 by radiantbeth. time seems to be flying by, but i know the truth is that i’m riding every minute and it just depends on how mindful i am of it. my birthday has come and gone (leaving me with a new camera and no excuse for no new pics for flickr and zoto, though i’ve somehow still neglected to upload them) and it seems like half a school year has already flown by while at the same time, it seems to have just started. i suppose the sense of time flying has come from the extreme busy-ness of each day at work. i feel like i can’t catch my breath and get things done. the lib sci classes are occupying more of my time than i expected and i feel like a full time teacher with a whole slew of library “stuff” to get done at the same time. i feel like i need hat rack next to my desk so everyone passing by can see what hat i’m wearing and which ones are being neglected. who knows what good that would do, though, but at least it might remind me of everything else i’m not getting done. i still have a good feeling about this year and i just hope that i feel like i have some control over it soon. we’re in the midst of our library inventory and i’m still working on the school equipment inventory. i also feel embarrassed as there’s been no substantial update to the school webpage this year thus far. meetings occupy my evenings though i’ve already started my evening hours and i feel like that extra paycheck is going to suffer in that regard. in other words, it’s busy and my calendar is full and you know what? do you truly know? i love it! yes, i feel so lucky every day to have the position i do, to be surrounded by the people i am, and well, i can’t believe that my first real job in my professional career is such a perfect fit for me. new beginnings August 27, 2006 by radiantbeth. school started back on friday. trevor starts a new job this week. i’m trying to get refreshed and inspire myself - both in my life personally and with my professional life. i have high hopes for my library science class. i completely redesigned the structure and with the new faces i met on friday, i’m truly excited. there’s so many possibilities in the air this year. i have heavy responsibilities, as always, but it’s just a joy. then there’s the matter of finding time for everything (friday FLEW by!) and well, i’m not going to stress what i can’t control. i’m also incredibly psyched about trevor’s new position. i won’t write much here at the moment, but it truly is going to mean that so much is going to change in how our life is right now. sounds like high expectations, but truthfully, things must change because of this. we’re so happy and now i keep willing the phone to ring so the next step can be taken. i want to be in the midst of the rhythm and not anticipating it’s beginning. soon enough, i know. finished reading two books today. one, jonathan carroll’s the marriage of sticks took me less than 24 hours (less than 17 hours, really) and the other, what the bleep do we know?! took me a few weeks longer. can’t speak enough for the second book and can’t speak highly enough of jonathan carroll. this is only my second book of his i’ve read and i can now say i’m definitely hooked. raleigh August 10, 2006 by radiantbeth. it’s so wonderful to be here in raleigh with our close friends and their two amazing kids. it was an extremely last minute decision to head up here and i’m so glad we did. i head back to work in a week and as this weekend was out for going anywhere, what better time to go than mid-week?! lots of good things seem to be happening and for some “odd” reason, i’m extremely excited about heading back to work. who would have thought? *smile* i guess it’s not just work, but lots of things that will be going on in the next few months and the energy i’m feeling thinking about it just feels vibrant and wonderful!

countdown begins

2006-08-03T18:59:00.000-04:00

my holiday officially started yesterday, at least as far as i'm counting. summer school is over. virtual summer school is over (we tested tuesday). finally... FINALLY... i get to enjoy sleeping in with nothing to accomplish for two weeks. woohoo! i can't even complain, really, as this might be a regular vacation (or longer) for someone in the business world. i feel like i accomplished something this summer and now, i get to enjoy some freedom. of course, i won't even begin with what i could be working on to prepare for the new school year. i do hope to develop my student assistant curriculum. i got the new standard course of study and so now i'm going to develop the lessons. afer my meeting/coffee with jeff, i came to the realization that instead of just creating assignments for students to complete, i want to have a holistic purpose. i want these students to get in touch with who they are and learn key skills that they will use no matter what they do in the future. i want it to be meaningful and not in some "hokey" way. it should have purpose and truly engage the students on the deepest level. we'll see if i can accomplish that... so this summer, beyond summer school and all that, i've redesigned the website for the vajradhara buddhist center (not launched yet), attended teacher academy, and made some good connections with people. not too shabby and i can't even begin with how excited i am for the new school year. just need to keep this mindset and make it the best year i can.

"Laguna Beach is in town"

2006-07-14T12:50:00.000-04:00

Free tickets to a movie never suck and in fact, that's how Trevor and I got our entertainment (outside of a trip to the All Good Music Festival) last summer. Every Friday morning, one of the TV news stations would give away free movie tickets after a guy with the Charlotte Weekly would review movies. It was fun seeing the reviewer in the same theatre with you and then talking about the flick the following Friday morning to all the viewers out there in tv land. But then again, that was the dork in me left over from childhood. During the school year, I had to refrain from free movies as I worked late every night and though sometimes I would win tickets, I couldn't go. (As a note - everytime I tried to win tickets, I did win tickets). So here it is, summer again, and for a few weeks there they had me worried. They'd have the reviewer on there, but no free tickets! What was up?! My summer is back and I finally have 7 hours or more before I go to bed after I get off work and no free movies to fill in that time?! Finally, I won some and I was excited as it's a Philip K. Dick novel. So we went to see A Scanner Darkly Wednesday night at this beautiful "new" movie theatre (we didn't realize it was there until one day, after having speculated that it looked like an air traffic control tower, we saw an ad for it). Beer and wine allowed in the theatre, though they had an actual bar you could sit at. Gourmet pizzas, quesadillas, hot dogs, popcorn, and of course, candy graced their digital menu. Employees didn't look like they were high school kids trying to earn some money in the summer and the place didn't have that standard theatre smell that I had come to know working in that business. First of all, though I knew we weren't in our 'normal' free movie element, I had no idea it would extend to the patrons, as well, who also somehow won these free movie tickets. Usually, you get a good cross section of the population. This time, you had your scifi geeks and your that-part-of-the-city wealthy and fashion-savvy youth and young adults. There were also some pockets of older generations, though at least three groups of these movie-goers walked out during the movie. The first group had to have departed well within the first half hour of the movie. Two young women sat to my right and I didn't think they could be much older than me. Nothing really stood out about them (texting on their cell phone is pretty norm these days) until one of the girls said, "I can sleep in this week. My trainer is out of town." Pretty normal, but then again, I'm not in my normal free-movie-going environ of kids screaming (please, do not take a kid to this movie, even if you're their parent with them!), couples cuddling, and families chatting about their day. And yes, I know this caught me off guard because of who I am and the way I think about the world around me. I think about how different I could be. How, though I have a full time job, a significant other of 6 years, and wonderful furry babies at home, that I don't own a home, I don't have parties, I'm not a connoisseur of wine and I don't enjoy going uptown every night of the week to the meat markets. I also don't live in that area we were in at the time and spend way more money than I have (or even spending money that I do have loaded up in the bank, as might be the case for some). Behind us, one guy was waiting for his friends and when they finally arrived, I completely regretted our choice in seat. We had chosen one of the red seats that looked more "luxurious" and nicer than the gray fabric ones. Of course, a lot of other people did, as well, including this group of friends behind us. They arrived happily with three bottles of wine and spoke constantly of Monty Python playing this Sunday. "Are you going?" "Yep, I don't have to work." "So does that mean you're going? I'm so excited." "When we come for Monty Python, we need to..." or else it was talk of their fresh jello shots in the fridge or the rum they enjoyed prior to coming and how rum is the best and rum is a must all the time. Who knows what they were saying exactly. That's not the point. Once the movie started, I figured out I needed to retract my first impression that it was a cool thing they sold alcohol in the theatre. Doesn't drinking make people loud? It sure did for the friends behind us. They spoke constantly, as if what they were saying was absolutely necessary and was a required part of the movie-going experience. Glass bottles were knocked over from time to time when you weren't hearing the pouring of wine from the bottle to the cup. Long dialogues of drug-induced paranoia in the movie was overshadowed by the friends' sense of hilarity in the stupidest things. At least they enjoyed themselves, right? Well, Trevor and I decided we did not want to return to the theatre (albeit how gorgeous and beautiful it is) unless the tickets are free, of course. It's cool that they specialize in indie flicks, though, so maybe once we start making enough to afford an expensive night at the movies (and more expensive than what I use to think was an expensive night at the movies) we'll return as money-paying customers. Oh yeah, the "Laguna Beach is in town" quote from Trevor was one I thought hugely appropriate as a group of young adults walked in to the theatre before the movie started. I swear, they had an invisible entourage following them around and as I'm not one for sporting the latest trends, I actually wondered how they didn't feel silly prancing around in those get-ups. What about the movie? You'll have to see it for yourself, though I don't think it'd be enjoyable for a large chunk of the mainstream population. Maybe for the mainstream "I'm really alternative" group, but you should know what I mean. If you don't think hearing profanity is a staple in a good movie and you're a "just say no" kind of person who doesn't even like to think about the fact that there are people out there at any given time completely out of their minds in a drug-induced state, you might not want to spend your money. If you're a Philip K. Dick fan, then yes, you should see it. We went to the grocery store afterwards and I swear I couldn't walk straight. I even got worried that people might think I'm high or drunk or something. Flashback to after I saw Requim for a Dream when I had to sit in the car a few minutes before attempting to drive. Now THAT was an interesting movie to see in the theatre. (And who would have guessed? That was at another theatre that serves alcohol.)

just the same

2006-07-08T19:43:00.000-04:00

i was about to write that not much was going on, but thinking back on this past week, i guess that would be a lie. the future parents-in-law came down last sat and left monday afternoon. we had a great time with them and were sad to see them head down to pawley's island for the rest of their vacation. unfortunately, their hotel wasn't what they expected and they cut the trip short. just happy we got to see them and spend a little time with them! the day they left, our friends in raleigh (melanie, trevor and the kids - tallis and kyndra) arrived and stayed through tuesday afternoon. we had a great time hanging out and taking the kids to the pool (our first since we've lived here!). they're awesome and make us so happy. next time they visit, we're heading down to carowinds for some fun! so excited! otherwise, it's been pretty quiet. :) summer school is looking up from what i had expected. though i still dream of having my own laptop to use, the awesome media assistant has leant me hers while i'm there. monday is a teacher workday and i'll be at my regular school trying to get some work done - joyfully, though, as it'll be shipping out some equipment to the surplus warehouse and will free up some of the workroom! i'm really excited about this coming school year! lots of new things going on and it should be great! can't believe i'll be starting my third year... i feel like it was just yesterday that we had moved down here to start my career! amazing... so, taylor hicks played harmonica on fishwater with widespread panic out in l.a. and reading schools' blog post on the event, taylor is a long time panic fan. so, first words out of my mouth? "I KNEW IT!!" i've been telling trevor since we first saw taylor on the auditions for american idol that he was a panic fan - that i recognized him and know i've seen him in the panic scene!! YAAAAAAAAAAY! i was RIGHT!!! :) i just think it's awesome that he is and we listened to the show today and they sounded great together. trev keeps saying how great taylor must have felt being on that stage with them. sure, you win american idol, but to be on stage with one of your fav bands... common' now! how can anything compete with THAT?! :) so all's well in bethville. just trying to enjoy the weekend (picnic tomorrow at the lake with the folks! yaaay!) and the rest of the summer before the fast pace of the school year starts back. oh yes... it'll be here before i know it.

summer work

2006-06-21T10:40:00.000-04:00

summer school officially begins today, though i've already been here two days. unfortunately, i feel useless for the most part. i'm sitting back in the office trying to be productive on other work and counting down til lunch. this isn't what i expected and though i'm not complaining (at least that's not my intention), i just haven't settled in and have no idea if i will.

2006-06-07T20:59:00.000-04:00

Empire
Trev says, "this is how you get a guy to listen to dar." ahhh pooey... i'm going to tom petty and trey anastasio now he's gotta go with me to dar in june. mwuahahahaha! (as if i wouldn't want to go this weekend! phah!)