i've had my glasses for over a month and for that, i'm devastated. under a month, i could walk back in with my receipt and my glasses and return them. now, i'm stuck for at least a year with my now chewed up frames. it's not as bad as that, i guess. it's just the piece that goes over the ear. same as my last glasses, but then i was calm about it. i didn't get upset. this time, even after trying to train my mind and not become upset over things i can't control, i'm still upset. i haven't tried to sit and meditate on it yet or think through it, but truly, i just blame myself and sweet chai lilly who has her paws on my lap right now wanting to hop up is innocent. she must have walked across my pillow and then onto the nightstand and eventually, through the course of the night, taken everything of mine off the nightstand and tested its chewability. this is the first and only night that i did not put my glasses in the new white glasses case when i went to bed. the thought crossed my mind and then, of course, i was exhausted and told myself they'd be fine. i think i knew in the back of my head. we're visiting our friends in raleigh again and by the time we got up here, i was exhausted and ready for bed, though i think i hung on for at least a half an hour. didn't see melanie get home from work, though, as i was soundly asleep in a whole 'nother world of dreams. when i found my glasses, i wanted to call my mom and cry to her. i wanted her to tell me it's ok, even though i know it. i wanted to revert back to a little girl whose mommy will take care of everything. can't someone buy me another new pair of frames? right? i'm not that kid and far from it, though this feels like the first time in a while that i've felt that way. i've been so ... strong. so peaceful and centered that i could handle any inconvenience. if i can't control it, there's no reason to get upset over it. the law of karma, and all that. i have been a little more negative lately, though i work through it and try not to let it get out of hand and have really been having good days lately. maybe i should have stayed in charlotte to go to the meditation workshop today at the center. four sessions, i believe, of meditation. might have done me more good.

Labels: glasses