six days until it's off to the big apple! ok, so maybe we'll only be there one night, but we've been looking forward to it for AGES! spending time with trev's family, staying at the w times square, going to a yankees v redsox game, and who knows what else!? have i told you i've only been to nyc once? well, not counting driving through or passing through the airport. some friends and i drove down from bennington to a leondardo da vinci exhibit at the world financial center. literally drove down, went to the exhibit, had lunch at a deli up the street and then drove back. well, stopped at one of their parents' houses in rhinebeck for dinner before driving the rest of the way. i've decided not to have any expectations since it's such a short trip and i want it to be about spending time with trev's family and not about what i want to do. that'll have to wait for another time. ;)

i know what i want for my birthday and i know it will never happen. well, not this year anyway. http://www.gozerog.com/index.htm trevor doesn't understand it and probably wouldn't even do it if was free. well, maybe if it was free, but definitely not for the four grand that it costs now for one seat. but if i were a millionaire, what would 4 grand be?! i think all my millionaire friends should think about this birthday wish come september. just 25 days after my birthday, i could be on a flight at kennedy space center. oh yeah, i'm so there.

it's been forever since i posted and i'm not even sure when the next time will be. i'm trying to think of another way to use this site without just keeping up old thoughts and wasting space. i just saw a peta ad that made me cry and i'm trying to look around the seattle's best coffee cafe in this, my favorite borders, before i decide it's time for trev and i to head home for dinner and a night of studying and watching tv. went on a retreat a couple of weeks ago and it helped me reset before this hectic semester. i felt behind because of it, but this week i'm on top of things (at least for now) and feel good. in general, there's happiness and not from any external factors, but that inner peace and happiness that is so amazing to hold. i hope that everyone can find this happiness and be free of their suffering. if you're reading this, i do mean you.

The visit from the mama and bro went well! Unfortunately, I got sick Tuesday night after eating focaccia I had bought at Panera and saved for dinner. During the actual consumption, I felt the throat go sore. :( Went to work Wed with the sore throat, stayed out on Thursday after dealing with aches and shakes and all that fun stuff. A week later, am still dealing with a runny nose and cough. Ugh! Alas, I did get my assignments done and actually got a perfect score on the one assignment for my dl. :) Now, I'm facing my final projects for both classes that are due in just over a week for one. Fun! It's hard when I'd rather be reading HP7!! Not sure my point in writing... *shrug*

I'm sitting in a booth with the sun hitting me through the window of my new second home... Panera Bread. I feel like I live here. Free WiFi and good food, but most importantly, free refills on coffee! The future mother-in-law and brother-in-law are in town on Thursday and with two "big" assignments due Friday, I'm trying to get as much done as I can. Unfortunately, my digital library class is not being my friend right now as I contemplate the "biggest problem" I'm facing in writing my DL plan and trying to find literature to back me up or help me with it, as well as my solution. I guess my biggest problem I'm facing is how much freedom to give the students. I'm not even thinking about how the DL, if it were ever created, would be hosted as the district now only wants schools and teachers to only use their (the district's) website hosting and not link to outside (personal) sites. It seems that the district is leery of giving students freedom to post, etc, which really is what my biggest problem is. I can cut it out of the DL, but what is being lost? The true communicative nature of the internet. If it's a DL to help foster a sense of community within the school, then wouldn't something be lacking by doing that? Maybe my brain just doesn't want to function right now. I was so exhausted all day today that I got home and ended up taking a 2 1/2 hour nap - NOT what I had intended. Hopefully I'm able to tackle this and my usability testing and research for the information architecture class. We'll see...

Labels: digital libraries

I finished reading Jonathan Carroll's Sleeping in Flames this afternoon and now I'm about to drive myself nuts because all I want to do is read, but I don't have anything here that will fulfill the yearning... We have several books I haven't read, but I just can't bring myself to be inspired to read them. How can you read just anything after finishing a Jonathan Carroll book and then (oh yes, I forgot to mention) the first five issues of Clive Barker's graphic novel of The Strange and Secret Show? A colleague went to Heroes Con this weekend and purchased the sixth one (only one we're missing), so now I must wait until I get it from her before I can continue reading that. I was half thinking of re-reading a Barker novel... but no, I want another Carroll book! I ordered White Apples today as PLCMC doesn't have it and I don't want to go through the trouble of an ILL. I started reading the only Christopher Moore book I have yet to read tonight - we went to Borders and I read the first few chapters of Practical Demonkeeping. His first and yet, I can't believe I haven't read it yet. I've read all the others... If only my favorite authors would produce a new book on demand, just to satisfy my cravings! I guess then, though, I'd never discover anyone new... Alas... At least I have my boys (you know, Widespread Panic) serenading me from Bonnaroo right now! Ahh... heaven. Well, if somehow I could combine their music with a great read, then I'd be all set. Wouldn't that be cool? Hmm... a soundtrack made specifically for a book? I'd still be picky, though... couldn't be just any book. How can I be a librarian and be so picky in what I read?! Guess I just follow my yearnings and can't just pick any ol' book up at any ol' time. (PS I'm also in need of a good audiobook... I have two Audible credits, but can't decide what to get. Again, I'm in that picky state where nothing might be able to satisfy it!)

here's a post i wrote in the blog i have going with my students about what we read: Thursday, May 31, 2007 Twilight by Stephenie Meyer I seriously do not know what to do with myself. I just finished Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. Literally just finished it maybe two minutes ago. Well, add another minute to find out that there's not a copy of the sequel available for immediate check out from the public library. I think I'm going to go crazy, even having to wait one day to get to a bookstore and purchase it. I decided this afternoon that I was "desperately addicted" to this novel. I can't explain it, but I want more. I feel like Bella in the book, yearning for Edward and to be with him forever. I feel like Edward seduced by Bella's scent and knowing it'd be better if he stayed away from her, but feeling so irresistibly attracted. I can't even read what the third book is about (to be released in August) because I'm afraid it'll ruin the second book for me! Is this crazy? I love it when I find a book that hooks me so thoroughly. Is it weird that I left high school ten years ago and here I am lulled into the life of a high schooler, feeling as if I was a part of her soul, her being, and feeling everything she does?! Maybe it's working in a high school that keeps me in that frame of mind. Either way, I'm glad I can enjoy teen fiction! I'm glad I'm a teen librarian! Twilight is the story of two star-crossed lovers, Bella and Edward. Why are they star-crossed? Meet Bella, a human. Meet Edward, a vampire! This, the first novel, is their introduction and subsequent falling in love. I was worried in the beginning, knowing that Edward was a vampire (from reading reviews) and wondering how hokey the book was going to be. I thought I'd be able to figure out what was going to happen and how cliche and predictable it would be. Even when I was feeling skeptical, I still felt spellbound and couldn't pull myself away. Every minute away from the Stephenie Meyer's words felt like torture! Fortunately, it didn't take long to become completely addicted, reading as fast as I could to find out what was going to happen on the next page! So do I download the audiobook to my iPod so I can listen to it on the way to school in the morning? On the road this weekend as we head out of town to visit friends? Or do I drop by the bookstore after school tomorrow so I can read it (at the possible detriment of the classes I'm taking!) and savor each word, yearning for more along the way? __________ Before I go on, I did have a thought about why I feel this way from reading a book about high schoolers. I've never really left "school"... any TYPE of school! High school to college to grad school to working in a high school! It's weird sometimes when I read books about ADULTS (which is more than this statement might let on!) and I'm not familiar with the office experience or the dating world, etc (perhaps my not experiencing dating outside of school environment?), and well, "regular, adult LIFE." I've also just started school again myself and well... will I ever escape? So going back, after I wrote the post I pasted above, Trevor and I literally hopped in the car and ran down the street to Borders before they closed and purchased New Moon! Amazing... why didn't I think of doing that before? I could have finished more than just a chapter! hah! I only let 30 or so minutes pass since finishing the book and heading to the store. That was Thurs night, started the book that night, read a chapter or two at work the next day (waiting for the bell to ring to start the morning; occupying myself while the computer loaded; two minute breaks to "refresh" myself in the midst of inventory mania...), and then again when we got here to our friends' house in Raleigh last night, finishing the book about 6 this evening! Here's what I wrote: Saturday, June 02, 2007 7:56 PM We're in Raleigh and have been here since last night at about 7:45. I was tired and couldn't wait to get back to reading my book, New Moon. Though they had guests over (a nice gathering consisting of a jam session and good ol' socializing with friends), I sat in the living room and later lied across my "borrowed" bed and read the entire evening until I finally couldn't keep my eyes open after 1am (or later?). I just finished the book this afternoon just before 6 and I still feel like I'm in this "daze" and am slowly trying to come out of it. I thought it'd be easier than this, but I still feel like the book is more "real" than my real life. It's confusing. The only thing I can think of is that the book filled me with so many strong emotions and I feel like I'm lacking those emotions in my day-to-day life. After I just wrote that and paused for not five seconds, I realized that in my Buddhist studies, I should be studying Dharma and meditation and spending my time contemplating it. I think that might ground me again to this life and help me remember that it's my future lives I need to be worried about. It just feels so ODD! I still feel full of the love that Bella feels for Edward, the vampire, and for his family. I long for those feelings, I suppose. Do they even exist in "real life?" I don't know what's real and what's not anymore. I wonder at those who have such strong emotions on a daily basis and if they're true, sincere, or even pure. Are they worth having? Is the hunt for these strong emotions what causes so much suffering in the world? It seemed so much easier when I was enveloped in my daily practice, aiming towards non-attachment (wait! All these emotions are is ATTACHMENT!). Maybe if I sit here and try to contemplate the suffering that attachment causes, I can come back from this la-la land of fiction. Like Bella not knowing if she can survive without Edward, can I survive without the third book of Bella's story until it comes out in August? The answer seems an obvious "of course!" but in this half-numb state, I'm not really sure. I might delve into a state similar to Bella's numbness after Edward left her. Silly, huh? Maybe being here in Raleigh makes me think about my life from a different perspective? For one, I feel like I have no friends at home (it's not straight-out true, but a few moments ago, I started to remember the night-long conversations I would have with friends about "deep" topics, or so I thought at the time...). We're here with friends, but I still don't feel like I can sustain a full-length conversation with them on my own. I don't want the simple chit-chat anymore. I'm not as passionate about the music as I use to be or the hippie clothes or whatever. I yearn for substance and perhaps that's why I escape to books so much (do I not want to CREATE substance?). It's ok going day-to-day at work and conversing and feeling happy. Outside of work, Trevor and I keep ourselves fairly occupied (and happy) and it isn't until emotions I didn't know I longed for show up in a book I'm reading that I realize what I'm missing. Back to the previous paragraph - they're not worth yearning for and will only cause suffering! Must meditate… I wish I'd brought Joyful Path… ____________ I'm sure I'll snap out of this. If not tonight, then Monday when the routine begins again. I don't ask these questions at home, I don't think! At least not to this extent... or maybe I don't put them into words. My inner dialogue is usually emotions and not words, per se. After reading certain books, though, I find the dialogue and it always seems to be a reflection of the narration of the book I've most recently read. Sleeping in Flames (Jonathan Carroll) is waiting for me at the public library. Interesting to see what THAT brings!

i feel like i'm starting some bad habits and though it's almost summer break and you can "break the rules" in the summer, i just started one of my classes today and instead of trying to "get ahead" by getting the assignments for this week done right away, i was back on Second Life for the second night in a row, staying up late. i created a new account and am going through the basics, paying more attention than i did the first time around. checked out the official guide from the library and read through the first several chapters on the road trip to and from the family reunion yesterday. trevor had a good birthday, so he says and as i hope. celebrated fri night with our neighbor friends. otherwise, just been anxious to get going in my classes, though you couldn't tell tonight! counting down until the last day of school and when we can get away up north, at least for a few days. it'll be a busy summer, but one i'm very much looking forward to!

I don't know what hit me today (well, nostalgia, but I have no idea why) and so I found an old address book from high school > first semester of college and started googling people. Amazing! One is a theatre director in Seattle, another going towards her MBA, one in a band with her husband, and the list goes on. My old roommate has her own dance company in Canada with another woman. I'm in awe of these outstanding people! I emailed just a couple of them... the ones I had an actual connection with at some point instead of the ones "hey, I knew you then and yeah, we were friendly, but we really weren't *that* close, I guess, but hey, how are you?!" In a way, I feel like some of these people have come so far in life and made a name for themselves while I feel like I haven't and am the same ol' me. Of course, then I really think about who I was then and know that that's not true. I'm sure they probably feel the same way, too. Or, perhaps, they had aspiration and knew that's where they'd end up or where they'd want to end up. It humanizes everyone, if you think about it...

Can't forget to say that we enjoyed Shrek the Third last night! So awesome to have won tix through WBTV - woohooo! They've definitely sent us to many, MANY free movies and we thank them!! So yes, I know Shrek is huge and it will have no lack of fans going to see it, but here's my shout out to it... VERY cute and funny! W00t!